Today is Friday and going to have 3 days public holiday. I was thinking how to spend all 3 days. Previously, I will planned for that at least 1 month in advance. Plan where to go, travel to other states and etc. There are some differences compared to 1 month back. I wouldn't plan for it anymore. I choose to wait for him, if he is free and willing to bring me go elsewhere.
This morning he called me up, told me that tonight he is going to have a date with me. Haha... so sweet and feel happy. I was looking forward on that. Luckily I dress nicely and brought along my digital camera, he claimed that I haven't take any photos with him yet after I changed a new hair style. He said I look good in that.
Somehow, after dinner, he told me he still have work to follow up, slightly disappointed but as long as I can be with him, I still feel the happiness.
Scratching my head now......really out of idea on how to spend these 3 days.....isshh.....
Hmm....any idea??? (please provide some for me...)
Most probably will stay at home and watch TV or surf through internet or reading some books...how boring is it? Haha.....
Anyway, happy holiday to people in Malaysia, enjoy and chill it !!! CHEERS
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Am I still the same as first day you fallen on me?
Early in the morning, the 1st thing came into my mind after I wake up. I miss him so much. I can't stop myself from calling him, desired to hear his voice. I called him finally but he still asleep. I told myself have to be independent and I decided to drive to office (scare of taking putra, damn crowded especially after working hour and some more with the bloody heavy notebook, I almost fainted for the last few times).
I'm not in a very good mood today. I hit few road closure on my way to office, and I can't rush for the early bird parking at Dataran Merdeka. But who knows, when i'm around the turning into Dataran Merdeka, the road CLOSED.... I'm really getting crazy and panic that time, I forced to call him whether any parking for me as I late for work. He didn't know. Gosh, no choice. I have to find it myself. At last I managed to get 1 parking where cost me RM 15 bux. Damn IT. When I reached office, only I realized there's Merdeka rehearsal held at Dataran Merdeka. ouchhh
I'm going off soon, today work quite late until 7.00 something but I didn't get any calls from him. I'm starting sad again. Is he really so cruel to me? Is he really forget about me? Is he really don't wanna care about me anymore? I'm keep on thinking of call him in my mind, but I try my hard to stop myself from doing that. I don't want to disturb him. I read back whatever I wrote and the 6 reminds to remind myself think on the bright side. At last, I failed to do it and I call him, I do not know whether is consider lucky or unlucky, I know his phone was out of battery. So, I just stop calling. Who knows, my boss called me up asked me to look for him, and that time I was crying (** sad **). Aiks.......end up, I called and tell him regarding that then hang off.
During dinner time with one of my friend, he called me finally. I feel happy in fact, and he asked me whether am I miss him today. I wanted to tell him I miss him so so so so so much. Just that trying hard myself to control it. Sigh...
Night before that, I really unsure whether are we reattached back and many queries come out to my mind, but after he told me he miss me so much by calling with my nickname (only for him to call) all doubts GONE.
People, pray for me and trust me, I will do better than ever. hoorayyy !!!
I'm not in a very good mood today. I hit few road closure on my way to office, and I can't rush for the early bird parking at Dataran Merdeka. But who knows, when i'm around the turning into Dataran Merdeka, the road CLOSED.... I'm really getting crazy and panic that time, I forced to call him whether any parking for me as I late for work. He didn't know. Gosh, no choice. I have to find it myself. At last I managed to get 1 parking where cost me RM 15 bux. Damn IT. When I reached office, only I realized there's Merdeka rehearsal held at Dataran Merdeka. ouchhh
I'm going off soon, today work quite late until 7.00 something but I didn't get any calls from him. I'm starting sad again. Is he really so cruel to me? Is he really forget about me? Is he really don't wanna care about me anymore? I'm keep on thinking of call him in my mind, but I try my hard to stop myself from doing that. I don't want to disturb him. I read back whatever I wrote and the 6 reminds to remind myself think on the bright side. At last, I failed to do it and I call him, I do not know whether is consider lucky or unlucky, I know his phone was out of battery. So, I just stop calling. Who knows, my boss called me up asked me to look for him, and that time I was crying (** sad **). Aiks.......end up, I called and tell him regarding that then hang off.
During dinner time with one of my friend, he called me finally. I feel happy in fact, and he asked me whether am I miss him today. I wanted to tell him I miss him so so so so so much. Just that trying hard myself to control it. Sigh...
Night before that, I really unsure whether are we reattached back and many queries come out to my mind, but after he told me he miss me so much by calling with my nickname (only for him to call) all doubts GONE.
People, pray for me and trust me, I will do better than ever. hoorayyy !!!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Hopes
My feeling now really up side down, swinging here and there. After 2 hours long talk with my bf, we re-attached. I'm happy cause I love him very much and scare to lose him. Even though, I know he has his own worries. I was sad after he told me that he felt give up to our relationship after few times unsuccessful break up. He told me we seem no future, instead of wasting time doing something with no future why not just stop it right now.
I'm those type won't think worthy of doing something. I just know I feel happy to do it and I love to do it especially towards my love one.
I will try my best to change all my bad personality and I want him to know that we have future until the end. As what he told me "Our Love Will Be The Long Lasting One" . I trust his words and I want to show it to him that's true. I hope we have a very good future forever ever and I wish to hear from him in the future that he sees our good future.
No one in this world is perfect. Human learn from the experience. I'm learning my lessons as well. No matter how hard the way to walk, how much effort I have to put on, I will try my best to "rescue" my relationship with my beloved. I hope after this incident, there will be no scar nor thorn inside our hearts and work out together to rebuild our relationship.
Things to remind myself : -
I'm those type won't think worthy of doing something. I just know I feel happy to do it and I love to do it especially towards my love one.
I will try my best to change all my bad personality and I want him to know that we have future until the end. As what he told me "Our Love Will Be The Long Lasting One" . I trust his words and I want to show it to him that's true. I hope we have a very good future forever ever and I wish to hear from him in the future that he sees our good future.
No one in this world is perfect. Human learn from the experience. I'm learning my lessons as well. No matter how hard the way to walk, how much effort I have to put on, I will try my best to "rescue" my relationship with my beloved. I hope after this incident, there will be no scar nor thorn inside our hearts and work out together to rebuild our relationship.
Things to remind myself : -
- To be confident on people who loving me
- To be understandable
- To be tolerate
- To be forgiveness
- To be independent
- To be self motivate
~~ IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN ~~
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Break up feelings....
I'm really sad at this moment. My bf broke up with me a few hours ago. He told me that he has to concentrate on his work and do not want to waste my time as he don't know when can him able to give me a marriage.
It might be ridiculous for some people but I trust his words. We've been attached for more than 2 years time. We stayed together all this while and I understood he is really a workaholic. Even though I understand his situation, but I really doubt on whether is it impossible to have a good relationship while success on his own career? I'm really really upset at this moment. Non stop crying but who will know this? No one will know about that including himself.
It is hard to find someone you love and have same interests. He likes to sing and me too. He taught me playing pools, we sing & duet, watch drama together (especially Hong Kong drama series), eat chocolate. Both of us like those. But why, today we break up? sigh....
I can't even get used to it. What I can do is crying and my tears are out of my control. He told me not to be sad as he is not worth for me to cry on. I wish to tell him, he is worth and he is the best person I ever met in my life except my family members. He is always caring of me, taught me a lot of things, we have fun , argue and sad together. Even though is just a 2 years time, but it was really meant to me and is a very unforgettable memories. He is always pampered and give me whatever he can gives to me.
His smell, his actions, spread over my room. I really really miss him but what can I do? I can just let him go and proceed with his own career. Maybe few years later, he will meet someone else he really love deeply and wish to get married, I wish I will be the girl, but it just too far from me and I don't think that it will become true. As what he said, we are not suitable to each other.
It is suffer to have such heart broken feelings, and I'm confused whether should I quit my current job. If I continue working in the current company, I will meet him frequently cause we are working under same company. Sigh. I can't let him go but what about him? He is calm when talking to me over the phone. It seems hopeless for us to get back together.
I have to start over my new life now....3 years back ....I was single, and now, I back to single life. It is really difficult for me to become independent now as I was relied on him all this while. Girls, please be independent when you are attached, you'll be suffering if 1 day you lost your beloved just like what am I.
People out there, please treasure your beloved. I feel regret that I didn't 100% treasure during the happiness time. I hope you won't be the next of mine.
It might be ridiculous for some people but I trust his words. We've been attached for more than 2 years time. We stayed together all this while and I understood he is really a workaholic. Even though I understand his situation, but I really doubt on whether is it impossible to have a good relationship while success on his own career? I'm really really upset at this moment. Non stop crying but who will know this? No one will know about that including himself.
It is hard to find someone you love and have same interests. He likes to sing and me too. He taught me playing pools, we sing & duet, watch drama together (especially Hong Kong drama series), eat chocolate. Both of us like those. But why, today we break up? sigh....
I can't even get used to it. What I can do is crying and my tears are out of my control. He told me not to be sad as he is not worth for me to cry on. I wish to tell him, he is worth and he is the best person I ever met in my life except my family members. He is always caring of me, taught me a lot of things, we have fun , argue and sad together. Even though is just a 2 years time, but it was really meant to me and is a very unforgettable memories. He is always pampered and give me whatever he can gives to me.
His smell, his actions, spread over my room. I really really miss him but what can I do? I can just let him go and proceed with his own career. Maybe few years later, he will meet someone else he really love deeply and wish to get married, I wish I will be the girl, but it just too far from me and I don't think that it will become true. As what he said, we are not suitable to each other.
It is suffer to have such heart broken feelings, and I'm confused whether should I quit my current job. If I continue working in the current company, I will meet him frequently cause we are working under same company. Sigh. I can't let him go but what about him? He is calm when talking to me over the phone. It seems hopeless for us to get back together.
I have to start over my new life now....3 years back ....I was single, and now, I back to single life. It is really difficult for me to become independent now as I was relied on him all this while. Girls, please be independent when you are attached, you'll be suffering if 1 day you lost your beloved just like what am I.
People out there, please treasure your beloved. I feel regret that I didn't 100% treasure during the happiness time. I hope you won't be the next of mine.
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